Got a toothbrush?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
