margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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