So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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