I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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