I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
