And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
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Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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