Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
