What did we do last night that was yellow?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
