making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
