I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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