hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
