My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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