You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
