my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
