Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Quick, to the slutcave!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
