nut hugger
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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