You really coming over, don't trick.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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