In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
