I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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