so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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