i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
