dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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