Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
