I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
