i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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