party gras won. party gras always wins.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
