so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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