I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
