I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
