$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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