Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
