She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
