I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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