My room smells like vodka and shame
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
