Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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