therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I cockslap morals
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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