Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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