I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
