How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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