i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
