I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
