I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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