they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
