I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's never too late to be topless.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
