No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
