I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
