You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
