you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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