Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
