he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
