started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
